"On bended knee we apologise, Oprah" - Part 4 in a series June 06 2012, 0 Comments

As we work our way through the quagmire that is the Great Oprah Debacle we begin to observe an emerging pattern; a quid pro quo or a literary meeting of the minds, as the Au Pairs attempt to placate what they fear may well be the "quiet before the perfect storm". After all, Camp Winfrey had made no response to date. Were they gathering their army and planning their attack? Only time will tell.....

 

Dear Miss Winfrey,

 

Again we correspond with you on matters that fill us with deep shame and embarrassment. 

Since our last missives it has come to our attention that our wee charge, Bad Bunny, has been relentless in his profferrings to the world of his believed audience with your good self upon your arrival to Australia.

To make matters infinitely worse, we find he has attempted direct correspondence, by way of mail, in a most forward and immodest manner.

You see, being of his age, his narcissistic streak, to put it mildly, is rather wide – more of a gaping cavern than a mere streak. In his fancy he does truly believe someone of your distinction and stature would indeed be honoured to have high tea with him, or for that matter, engage in the most base of board games – Twister.

For all the aforementioned, we can only offer our profuse apologies and endeavour, as best we mere Au Pairs can, to waylay his advances.

As a gesture of humility and respect we enclose a wee gift crafted from our and Nanny Pickle’s hands.

 

Yours in humility,

Au Pair Jennine and Au Pair Shannon

PS: We are extremely mortified Bad Bunny made reference to your most intimate nickname for one's most private of worlds in his last communication to you. For it was to our best knowledge that Bad Bunny was having his Nursery nap when we viewed that particular episode of your eponymous show.